| Saturday, April 8th, 2006 |
Saturday
April 8th, 2006 at 6:15am |
fukk you
shit for life the end ps job interview tuesday at three pm yeah cool i hope i get the job your a whore and you know it so shut your ugly face and get a life |
| Monday, March 27th, 2006 |
Monday
March 27th, 2006 at 8:45am |
yep
Best day of my life would have to be the day i met julien. <3 i heart that boy soo much he makes me super happy And i miss him soo much right now. i cant wait to see him this weekend :]] eek im so excited this week is gonna be yet another long one untill i get to see my baybee. Ehh, I cant wait. Mhmm. I know its not been long that we have been going out but i can say that im truly starting to fall for him . Hes pretty much robbing me of my own heart. i can feel it now. But im pretty sure im gonna steal his first :] <3 Current Mood:  anxious |
| Saturday, January 7th, 2006 |
Saturday
January 7th, 2006 at 8:50am |
lets fade the colors in bloody tears and die
shall we. i do think so. worst friday of my life. im teary eyed so annoyed i dont get it y people gotta be so cruel to me. i think its more pathetic then anything the way they are the way they treat me.. idk what to do idk idk idk. one things on my mind though and thats die. she hurts so much inside.. like her heart it was going crazy for him. then his stupid gf crushed it. she smashed it...stupid bitch should die.. i should kill her if it wernt so illegal i deffently would.. i got this burning in my heart tears in my eyes. a stab in the back and the colors are bluring alot now. its such a blur everything.. i see.. not jus the colors. jus my life everything. no point in living im a pathetic waste of anyones time. useless thought. im stupid pathetic ugly and i should die.. |
| Thursday, January 5th, 2006 |
Thursday
January 5th, 2006 at 7:51am |
i got it nuff said
my lisence duuh! first try i got it. fuk yes bitcchess HAHAHA;; congradulations;; thanx;; |
| Saturday, December 31st, 2005 |
Saturday
December 31st, 2005 at 2:18pm |
new years eve
fogoten/ wheres the new year. left behide. dduh.. gone for a walk. to the zoo to clear my head. and remind my self what lifes supposed to be like . without pain. one person how ever out of everyone. he made me really happy. hes a special boy. i heart him notice not love. not yet maybe later. promises. tuesday. maybe tuesday maybe yesterday. maybe tomarro. maybe is jus an outrageous way of saying no. so far from the truth. hate food. tv in fact it makes me want to eat food. FOOD should go to fuken hell. fuk. off. bitches. hate you all. fuk fuk fuk. life sux die u should all jus die. me too. u go to heaven ill go to hell fuk the world :) |
| Wednesday, December 28th, 2005 |
Wednesday
December 28th, 2005 at 10:46am |
oh wow
so like you see i like this boy he likes me too. and i think i want to go out with him bad he has a gf but idk the way we recently talked it confuses me like alot on my space im his top 3 his gf number one i heard somethings i think he said them to me but like he would of put me number one or something other things said something something i dont want to write it here cuz what if his gf reads i bet shes a bit pissed cuz im on his top 8 and i talk to him and yea but fuk im his friend too and he said he wouldnt stop talking to me becuz of her which is good im gladd cuz i wouldnt want that i think it would be far to sad but anyways boys at my skewl amuse me really they do preppy ones commenting my pictures and saying waht a hot picture woah i cant dont wwanna see him in skewl lmao hahha anyways im a bit tired now |
| Saturday, December 24th, 2005 |
Saturday
December 24th, 2005 at 1:35pm |
pictures
me and kristyns day out
what a fun day that was.
sow a pretty boy that i miss like hell
hes so gorgeous and i really need to see him again
hopefully sometime next week
that would be awesome to actually talk to him
i think we have a lot in common and i just cant get over how cute he is.
man i wish i didnt walk by and then a few minutes later walk back and he disappeared that is really sad. ahh well i gotta see him next week anyway i know how . well i need to and i cant resit him any longer hes like an addiction and i have this weird feeling inside that just wants him a really lot. and i know hes bad and i shouldnt but i must and nothing should stop me i wont let anything. ah im really excited to see him.
he wants to see me too. and i ah ya.
anyways tina comes down the stairs shes like nice hat. i show her my ring . then i show her my pictures and shes like have u ever thought about modeling im like yea but i need someone to take pictures she knows someone who takes pictures thatd be nice if that person would take mine so i can get a portfolio started i really would like that alot. well anyways im preatt awesome arnt i love that im pretty and if i wernt idk what id do i would probably feel ashamed and hide in the shadows. but i like the center of attention. i like to be in the spot light becuz i know im ment for it . truely and honestly i kno. well tomarros christmass and i get new clothes yummy i suppose.
i need to seee him well really bad Current Mood:  flirty |
| Saturday, December 10th, 2005 |
Saturday
December 10th, 2005 at 7:16pm |
lets see
she is the girl thats crazy with her thoughts shes always thinking. about things that arnt possible so i guess shes always dreaming. shes lost in the mild thoughts with exploding endings. wishing dreams came true but facing reality and realizing they wont. Nothing works out for this girl. What she wants she cant have or basically she shouldnt want it cuz its taken or still loving that one person. still heart broken. but yet theres these other things she wants but she knows if she gets them it will only cause for disaster. problems trouble. she cant afford to get into again. although that was fun. minus the lost memories. and the distant thoughts in the back of her pale thick skull. Shes looking for a change trying to find out somethings. shes trying to make her life perfect but yet its full of inperfections. shes mean and cruel she turns down jus about everyone. when shes got her dream she loses it he breaks up with her for a pathetic reason ::: you wont get up at 6 to see me ::: mistakes. i guess. she guesses. then that other thing shes wanted for so long well sence she met him. she knows its only gona make problems but she wants it she wants it. really bad. its free now. yet i imagine hurt. so she cant have it nope she cant. she cant be a rebound girl she has to be "the girl" the girl they charish and love for ever not a fling not a weekend joke. this girl has a heart its fradgil and warn out. with its many cracks and stitches. Shes got the heart of gold with every sweet skittle in it. she just wants a relationship to last more then a month more then too months for a while. shes sick of stupid head games and stupid imature boys. that might be why she goes for boys way olde then her. too old in fact.. but she doesnt care.. she wants him to be mature and cute and near her. someone she can be with for a while. not for a week she wants it too last. basically wat im getting at is shes looking for a boyfriend not another heart break or a pathetic game Current Mood:  okay |
| Thursday, December 1st, 2005 |
Thursday
December 1st, 2005 at 3:09pm |
complicated.
confused and complicated thoughts in my head.
wants and what not.
but u cant have any of it cinderella none of it
your not aloud to be happy
all you are is a dissappointment to the world i wish you would figure this out. your pathetic stupid a reject a dissapproved person. everyone hates you everyone thinks your horrible no one likes you they dont and they dont want you i wish you would jus relize that i wish you would jus finnally get it throoughh your fuken head. but you cant your so gawd damn stupid i dont get you i dont get the things you feel
you think you want him back your pretty sure you do . wait you kno you do but y the sudden want y y y yyyyyy he was mean to you . you two are so difffent. w.e.
but it doesnt matter wether were differnt i want him back like crazy i cant explain these thoughts the wants the feeling i get when i think of him. its insane i dont get it yet im too confused to understand it completly and yet i do understand it im still confused about it. things are complicated. i want him back but i cant tell if he wants me back i think he does but idk and im afraid to call him and talk to him. im scared to no idea y but i am and it scares me. i wish i wasnt the way i am i wish i could have him back but all this is hopeless becuz i never will have him back cuz he probably doesnt want me back and i feel stupid as it is for having these insane feelings but i cant explain any of it its so confusing i dont get it at all
|
| Tuesday, November 22nd, 2005 |
Tuesday
November 22nd, 2005 at 2:44pm |
your stupid
your stupid so stupid you should know better you should of been smart you should of thought before you did it all. but you didnt you were stupid irresponsible and pathetic. you should of thought about it you should of been smarter. but you wernt you were stupid. now you suffer the consiquences. you dont remember the night before how does that feel. do you remember how you got that bloody nose? do you remember where all those bruses came from? do you remember anything? now is that worth it all no remembering anything? is it worth the name calling you get the minute you step foot in your house. its gonna get rubbed in your face for the rest of your life. because you were stupid and irresponsible. now lets hope something didnt happen that you will regret. your sure it didnt but what if it did? what if symptoms start to show? what are you going to do then? what is going to happen? do you have a plan in mind? do you even care? is it killing you inside? do you regret every moment? hows it feel to finally fit feel like you belong? pretty good. but the fact that knowing you dont belong with your real friends suxxx. you dont feel like it but. those are your true friends even though your much differnt then them. they are the ones that are always gonna be there for you. there gonna be the ones to pick you up when your down. be angry or dissappointed in you when you do stupid things. but there still always gonna be your friend. they love you. but these people that make you feel like you "belong" are they gonna be there for you through everything? are they gonna pick you up when you fall? are they gonna help you think things through? are they gonna be there for you at all? you talk with the one thats dissappointed in you the most. shes the one that loves you the most your her daughter. she cares about you like your her world. you finnally figured it out why you became so careless and irresponsible. you didnt feel like you were even knoticed. you felt like everything you did was a waste of your time. you feel like that alot dont you. like what ever you do thats good you dont even get reconized for it. its a suckey feeling inside. maybe thats why you were always so down. maybe thats why you were so careless and irresponsible. you didnt feel like it would matter. do you regret anything? no. why? if you regret it then your only saying you didnt learn from your stupidity and irressponsibility. the conclusion: your stupid you should of been smarter. but you made a mistake. not all mistakes can be forgiven. lets hope this one is. lets never do it again not untill your old enough but then dont drink so much. you have to suffer the consiquences. except the consequences you diserve them. learn from this experence. Current Mood:  groggy |
| Saturday, November 19th, 2005 |
Saturday
November 19th, 2005 at 1:12pm |
she
shes pyscho skitzofranic. pathetic in her own way. regreting the world.hidding from the light of days begening. shes scared of the future letting her self get in too deep. hung up on the past. confused and dead on the inside. shes complicated in every way possible. you wont ever understand her llike i do. she leaves her life helpless in the fate of her own hands. she doesnt want to get hurt so she hurts them before they can hurt her. shes like one of those girls u see in the corner rocking back and forth tearing the hair out of her presous head. she doesnt kno wat to do she jus screams insaneingly at the shadows on the walls the night mears in her dreams. she runs from everything hides in the nearest dark corner fades away into nothing becuz she is nothing. nothing to you are me. shes invisable to the world. she has wat she wants but yet shes still not satisfied. she trys harder to get wat she wants but only ruins it in the end. she leaving her body and soul and moving on to the next day as if today never happend and forgeting it all . she doesnt mean half the stuff that comes out of her mouth. or the words that flow from her finger tips as she hits the keys to type this. is it all true or is it lies. has the music taken away from her true identity is she lots in the train of thoughts that swirle through her head. is she really that confused is this really her. who is she. she wont tell.. she cant she hasnt found out who she is yet. but shes not pretending to besomething shes not.shes confused with these feelings and lost in every memorie. she cant claw her way out of this hole shes in far to deep and cant figure any of it out. shes gone far past gone lost in this world. Current Mood:  weird |
| Friday, November 18th, 2005 |
Friday
November 18th, 2005 at 8:19pm |
Bordom anger and what not
such confusion. idk wat to think wat to do im so confused its more complicated then you can imagine.. i thought i had it all perfect well not perfect but close. i mean i have a bf which i like and want to be with i have my friends. i havnt faught with any of them recently .. i hope i never do again. i got everything i want i weigh 99 iv reached that goal. im getting engaged. ha. not to my bf. yea weird but yet again complicated. and now i dont know wat to think. like thoughts are spinning through my head. im deadly confused with these mild thoughts and complicated explanations. i kno wat im doing i really do i got it all planed out but no one knows exsept my self. i dont plan to tell a single soul what my plans are. but u kno on the inside i got these totally mixed thoughts. reeally confusing. like i want but i cant have. yea. way too much.. for me to handle. wow i jus noticed i have alot of those i want but i cant have feelings isnt that jus peachy. i cant say much more.. and all this is really jus a bunch of jibberishh cuz its all talking about something differnt and im leaving out the big picture for reasons.. anyways i think im done here. which is kewl and exciting.. woahh whooo.. wait.. i had a good time at the mall it was fun. then i ate at toco bell and had a crunch wrap supream w.e. it was yummy and good. so AHH im not annerexic friends i do eat.. yea fukkerrs.. BLAHH.. loosers! err Current Mood: blah |
| Friday, November 11th, 2005 |
Friday
November 11th, 2005 at 6:53pm |
woah
So this is my new livejournal woah whoo for me hehe. well i dont got friends yet and i dont plan to add them. im jus being one of those people who jus write a stupid journal on my stupid life because its entertaining for people to read. well i cant put a picture of my self on here yet because im to lazy to shrink the picture and im not gonna put those stupid avatars as my picture its so over rated and pathetic im over it. anyways life now pretty much suxx. as usual nothings how i want it skewl suxx. i got sent home last friday for supposibly violating dress code. lies lies lies im grounded supposibly no idea if i really am though i can never tell with my mom. my lips are chaped i need chapstick. i currently hate food i need to stop eating so much and it makes me sick so i think im gonna jus stop eating all together. arnt i kewl telling the world i want to stop eating smart samantha real smart. i get a new cell fone soon in like two months yey. i wonder which one i will get im not sure yet i think i want a pretty one maybe a flip fone but wait too many people complain that those fone sux and always break.im really soar from walking home from skewl thursday like a 40 minute walk no jacket in 30 degree weather pretty awesome. ha.. yeah right. and my foots all cut and it was all bloody and it was sad. and it hurt and im in pain. yesterday i was in such a bitchy mood. and still kinda am when i remember that awesome day. riight awesome day it suxxx i hate that day. i need to go do my home work eventually sometime this weekend i probably wont but oh well i guess the skewl they hate me as it is. i shouldnt give up but thats wat i feel like doing. its 11.11. freaky i wolk up at 11:11 am this morning that was rather odd. anyways im done here and going to go back to watching drama. as if there isnt enough of it in this world . ♥ degrassi. |
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